Maz once had a mean 'n' mingy man,
To whom money was a god,
Worshipped he his wallet,
Where he kept a weighty wad,
So very tight was Derek,
That nearly every night,
Stripped off he by street lamp,
To save a tad on light.
All went well with Maz and Del,
Til in a fit of folly,
Sought she to make him part,
With lots of his lovely lolly,
"My dear Del",fawned she,
"We could have so much fun,
If to Jamaica flew we,
Where there's lots of sun,
I'll not take no for an answer,
We'll soon be beside the sea,
You in your baggy bermudas,
Me in my teeny bikini,
Like a milk bottle you look like,
In a word,white,
Several days in the searng sun,
Shall surely put that right,
To a casino we will go,
Where we'll play the wheel,
All at your expense, of course,
How does that make you feel?
Come on Del,hang the expense,
For once please be drastic,
You always go wan and white,
When I want to spend your plastic".
Derek hated nothing more,
Than spending loads of money,
Mazza had to go,and quick,
Her dumping would not be funny,
At one Sunday teatime,
The bombshell Del did drop,
"My dearest,you are dumped,
Please do not blow your top."
Like a roaring,raging bull,
All Maz saw was red,
"You useless waste of space,
You're as good as dead!"
Rose he from the table,
And, with great alarm,
Sought he to escape,
Grievous bodily harm.
Between him and safety,
Was she who must be obeyed,
The painful price for spurning,
Would not be long delayed,
Stuffed she into her handbag,
Several horseshoes very mucky,
For Derek they'd be less than lucky.
He never saw it coming,
Maz would not be mocked,
A mighty swipe later,
And Del's bonce was soundly socked.
Eyes as glazed as windows,
Staggered he slowly along the floor,
A big boot to the butt,
Sent Del Boy flying thro' the door.
No comments:
Post a Comment