Leo''s Ark,which has been many months in the making,and is currently sitting in the back yard,is very close to completion...I am currently awaiting delivery of a couple of hundred planks of seasoned gopher wood to complete the top deck...Problem is that, until the advent of the Great Flood where Clacton - On -Sea goes under the sea,the said Ark,the timbers of which have yet to be tarred,will forever remain as a gigantic blot on the local landscape,for it cannot of course embark on its maiden voyage until the massive inundation begins...
A couple of days ago,one of our neighbors complained that my Ark was blocking out the sunlight,and would I care to relocate it...I told him to eff off and that I hoped that he would not drown in the coming Great Flood,which my Oracle has predicted will happen in the near future...I commented to the said neighbor that to ig- Noah the signs was pure folly,and that he would be welcome aboard Leo'sArk,which will eventually come to rest who knows where...
It is now,once again,pissing down,in fact,the flood waters are rising as I type,so hopefully,it won't be too long before Leo's Ark leaves the shipyard bound for the pinnacle of a certain Turkish Mountain,which will be an absolute delight... Mount Marrowfat??I just hope the damn thing doesn't spring a leak -you know what flat- packs are like...If it does,I'll complain to God,who commanded me to build the damn thing...One final word...I have not bothered to equip my Ark with lifeboats or life -jackets,as it is constructed on such a titanic scale that it cannot possibly capsize....Full steam ahead,Cap'ain Leo... and be alert for any icebergs...
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