Shocking Visitation...

SEVERAL DAYS ago,whilst I was having a phone chat with a friend in deepest,darkest Cornwall,I was forced to face a life-long fear...I opened the frontdoor to see a very attractive woman police officer,who asked me re phone calls which I had been making to a certain female painter and decorator in the wee hours of the morning....The said officer said that,should it happen again,I would be arrested and charged with making nuisance phone calls.I told the police officer,who was very nice,that I have Bipolar Disorder,and tend to do unwise things when in Manic Mode,which is true.

Twenty four hours later,I heard a very insistent ring at my frontdoor....I intuitively knew it was the Old Bill!However,this time it was not a woman police officer,but a guy resembling the Incredible Hulk!!The police officer,who wore spectacles,asked if he could come in....he was at least 6feet 2 inches in height and almost as broad- he had feet like flipping plod,sorry,clod -hoppers- must have weighed at least 16 stone- I almost shit a pile of bricks!He was actually a very decent guy,but I was so terrified I could not utter a single word...